I think the past 6 months have caught up with me. 

I’m so tired. Exhausted. The worst though is my confidence. I don’t feel like myself anymore. On the surface everything is fine, but inside I’m crumbling. 

I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Your depressions and refusal to seek help is draining me. Emotionally, mentally and even physically. I never realized how stress can knock someone out, until now. I can’t be your only coping mechanism. What happens one day when I can’t just drop my life to talk you off the edge?

4 days!

This is making me very nervous.

Lindsey Claire

http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/true-stories/true-stories-love-after-cancer

Every single time you’re here, or I’m there, the time just flies by. I blink and 5 days is gone, we’re leaving for the airport once again. For that time, everything is easy. I smile, laugh and all is right with the world. I love you so much. You challenge me, to be smarter, more compassionate, easier on myself and others, a better person. I cannot wait until the day comes when I don’t have to wake up without you next to me ever again. 

I feel so sad and alone tonight. Objectively I have nothing to be upset about, I have a great job, am healthy, have awesome family and friends, a roof over my head, food in the fridge and I live in one of the best countries in the world. But without you I feel like my little world is crumbling. I hate feeling this way, like my happiness is dependent on someone else. Why do I love you this much. I want so badly to be mad at you, but I just can’t be.

What does it mean to be broken? Broken from being hurt so badly in a past relationship. Broken so badly you can’t be repaired. Broken so badly you think you’ll never feel the same again. Is it fair to let someone fall in love with you if you’re in this state. Fair to them that you’ll never be able to reciprocate those intense feelings.

I don’t know how it feels to be broken, only the person on the other end, someone loving the broken one. If anyone has any insight on being broken , I’d love to hear it.

I can feel myself slipping away from you.